I heard someone talking about banana pudding the other day. Apparently, if you want to have amazing banana pudding you’ve got to be willing to invest some time and patience in the process. There are quicker options, but the good stuff requires hours of preparation, waiting for the right time to enjoy.
By the time we reach adolescence, we should have picked up on a little truth: the best things in life are the result of a patient process. We work hard at developing a new skill and get to enjoy using it. We spend years and years in an education system and have so much knowledge to show for it. We invest in a plan and get to see it happen. Diligence, patience and self-control pay off with huge rewards. We deny ourselves temporary gratification so we can experience a better future.
When did sex become any different? If you were to examine our cultural view on sex, you would think that human-beings have absolutely no ability to exercise self-control in their sexuality. There is a subtle thread of belief that since sex is so natural and feels so good that it’s not meant to be controlled. But the truth is that sex and banana pudding have some things in common:
1.) Sex is good. So is banana pudding. Anything good is worth waiting on and enjoying the way it was meant to be enjoyed. For practical, physical, psychological, spiritual and emotional reasons there is no better sex than married sex. It’s worth the wait.
2.) The wait makes it better. Instant pudding doesn’t leave the same taste in your mouth as the good stuff. Sex outside of marriage seems enticing but doesn’t sit well at the end.
3.) The end result is better than the ingredients. If you eat the ingredients while you’re cooking, they don’t taste as good as the final product…and if you eat too many of the ingredients while its cooking the final product will be compromised. Trying to enjoy the benefits of sex outside of marriage is often hurtful in the end and brings sexual baggage into your future marriage.
4.) Self-control is required. But we’re much better at self-control than we think. We constantly make choices to deny temporary pleasures for long-term gain. We can do the same with sex…and of course with banana pudding. We just need a change of perspective.
What’s been your experience? Is sex exempt from self-control and patience?